2017 /// a year in review

On Processing Violence

Grieve for the words unspoken, the song unsung, the family undone.
Grieve for the trauma, the tears, the raw despair.
Grieve for the soul, the body, the spirit, the whole.

We have removed ourselves,
Pacified our egos,
Dehumanized,
Lied,
Died.

Color thrives, survives, and endures;

While
we
breathe.

While
we
be.

Our skin allows us the space_between
Truth_grief_empathy_action.

This. Must. Cease.
The time is now.
The work is urgent.
Lives are at stake.

Lies to be unmade,
Joy to live another day.
To unite;
for peace
for justice
for all.



an original work by Katie Gibson-Ledl on processing the brutalization of black and brown persons, trans* individuals, and women around the globe. 

2015 /// a year in review

I am >

Holistic.

One of the first words I learned while studying the art and science of social work. A word that has been my personal mantra over the last few years. Holism is the theory that parts of a whole are in intimate interconnection, such that they cannot exist independently of the whole, which is thus regarded as greater than the sum of its parts.

Though it is difficult and embarrassing to admit. I have struggled with my weight for 4 years.
4 years of insecurity.
4 years of fighting the clothes in my closet.
4 years of pinching parts of my body I don’t like.
4 years of failure.

Everything I do in my life, I give as much energy as possible. But I can’t seem to conquer my health. And I am tired. Tired of looking at myself as less than. Tired of strangers thinking they are entitled to an opinion about my body. Tired of trying [and failing] to find the perfect health balance. The truth is hating any part of yourself is exhausting.

I want so badly to practice holistic health and wellness. But how?

I consider a healthy lifestyle to include balancing the physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual aspects of life. No fad, health trends, or restrictive diets please. So I am trying something new. I am thinking positively, asking for help, and building healthy habits.

And I am beginning with this blog post. I am beginning with being honest with myself and my loved ones.

I am greater than the sum of my parts. Or the sum on the scale.

Cheers to healthy living!

Restoring Dignity: Interactions with Panhandlers

Should I give money to panhandlers?

Most individuals who pass a panhandler will struggle with an internal monologue. Like…

“I don’t know what to do.”

“What if they spend it on drugs or alcohol? I don’t want to be a part of the problem.”

“Maybe I will just offer food.”

“They should go to a shelter or try to get help from an agency. There are so many resources in this county.”

“Aren’t there any jobs available?”

“Giving money enables poor behavior/choices.”

“Is that person REALLY a veteran?”

This internal monologue is layered with assumptions. Assumptions made through the lens of negativity bias. The negativity bias (also known as the negativity effect) refers to the notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature (e.g. unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions; harmful/traumatic events) have a greater effect on one's psychological state and processes than do neutral or positive things (Source 1). Now that we are aware of the negativity bias, we can choose to contentiously counteract it with positivity. For example, we can begin responding positively to panhandlers by simply smiling. Waving. Saying hello. Acknowledging their human existence.

Panhandling is awkward for all parties involved. Can you imagine desperately needing to make a living by asking strangers for money? Standing hungry on a public street corner, braving weather and judgement to scrape together dollars and coins for survival? Many people who are panhandling are routinely ignored, sworn at, harassed, robbed and assaulted (Source 2). Yes, sometimes the money panhandlers receive is used for coping mechanisms (such as substance use) (Source 3).

If you feel moved to do something, yet don’t wish to share cash with strangers, you can also…

•  Offer information (i.e. a pamphlet with helpful local resources). 
• Keep a few in your car. Maybe even tuck a $1 in the pages.
• Donate to an organization, agency, or foodbank working with those experiencing homelessness.
• Purchase a newspaper written by this population.
• Share a meal (be considerate of allergies, food preferences, and dietary restrictions).
• Get a group together, make, and distribute Backpack Care Kits. Or give them to a local shelter to distribute.

So, should I give money to panhandlers?

It’s your choice. And there are other options. J

But I implore you to restore dignity to an awkward (for both parties) situation by looking someone in the eye and acknowledging them. Smile. Say hello. Humanize the dehumanized. Train yourself to think positively about the poor and homeless. Don’t contribute to criminalizing this population. Do your part in creating a culture of trust and empathy. As my college professor, Nathan Foster, repeatedly reminded social work students “Each one of us is one situation away from becoming the client.” 

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nothing Gold Can Stay
Robert Frost, 1874 - 1963

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

This story unravels my thoughts and stitches together my ideas into a palpable mess. This story is about the concept of youth and innocence.

Today I took a sewing machine out of a dusty box that has been stored in my closet since 2009. Months ago I opened the same dusty box and attempted to teach myself how to sew with the intent to decrease world suck via upcycling fabulous thrift store finds. Those many months ago I failed. I could not begin my eco-friendli(er) alternative to shopping at corporate department stores. Why?

The bobbin, my friends. The bobbin.

There is this step just before you can begin sewing where you must raise the bobbin thread. After repeated failure, I abandoned my ambitious effort and retired that sewing machine back to its home (aka dusty box in the closet).

Today when I released that remarkable piece of technology from its home, the bobbin thread was raised in 30 minutes (thanks to the Googling and logic skills of my partner).

This sewing machine reminded me of a journey I recently began to better understand how food gets to our tables and how clothes get into our closets.

By the time our things enter our lives they have encountered possibly hundreds of human hands, traveled thousands of miles, and created environmental and economic ripple effects.

I was 18 years old when I discovered the relationship between corruption, hatred, greed and globalization. When I realized Christopher Columbus was a colonizer and war = death. Consequently, I was pinned down for 3 [long and complicated] years by harsh realizations, intensive critical thinking, self-reflection, and severe bouts of cynicism. Seeing and learning about extreme poverty, genocide, colonization, and a host of other prominent social issues was…awful. However, my 18-year affair with ignorance (or innocence) allowed me maintain a semblance of safety, happiness, and fearlessness. A privilege I am grateful for. 

Many people, young people, do not/cannot hold onto innocence for 18 years. Many children, teenagers, and young adults forgo “traditional” childhoods full of play, imagination, and learning, to sew garments in sweatshops and pick fruits and vegetables in sunbaked fields. Globalization paved a path for capitalism to dominant foreign markets. And globalization demands the production and overconsumption of things.

In general, humanity values innocence. But we do not always do a good job of protecting innocence [at all stages and ages of life]. So, globalized capitalism has made humans further guilty of destroying innocence.

Be mindful of who made your clothing and picked your fruits and veggies; of how goods get to your closet and table.

Until next time, folks!

Life & Launching

I like definitions. Word play. Words in general. Words have power. They can be beautifully descriptive, devastatingly misunderstood, or effect the world in a vast array of other ways.

So, I write each word you read here with purposeful intention (lots of extra care)(and then even more carefulness).

In this blogpost I attempt to untangle my thoughts on life and launching.

Life

What is my worldview? 

A worldview can be defined as…

• A particular philosophy of life or conception of the world
• The overall perspective from which one sees and interprets the world
• A collection of beliefs about life and the universe held by an individual or a group

My dominant learning style is visual. So, picture this with me, okay? My worldview is best described as “in transit.” I like to picture that I am traveling. Whether on foot or bike, plane or train. I am continuously observing, learning, and changing course. I can choose to move forward and ignore the nuances of daily life happening around me or I can stop, stay for a while, build relationships, observe interconnectedness, and continue my journey having learned, loved, and changed a little piece of myself, and if I am lucky, the world. Sometimes traveling backwards (relearning or even unlearning) is helpful too.

Key features of my worldview include:

• Love. All you need is love. Yes, I genuinely think the world would be a better, safer, happier, healthier, more equal planet if humans genuinely loved each other, animals, and the environment.
• Relationship. I believe life journeys can be done in solace but also from interaction with others, the physical, and the metaphysical. 
• Positivity. Unconditional positive regard.
• Openness. To finding truth in many spaces, places, and faces. To change. I strive to maintain a global perspective and approach situations from a teacher/learner perspective.
• Humility, or being mindful of one’s modest existence in relation to the infinite universe. 
• Being mindful of your intent vs. your impact on the world around you. 

John Green beautifully summarizes humility and intent vs. impact in the following paragraphs.

“I think we are as likely to harm the universe as we are to help it, yes. (Actually, I think nothing any human being ever does will have any overall effect on t he universe. I mean, you’re talking about a single organism among trillions living on a single sphere among trillions in a single galaxy among 100-500 billion galaxies in a universe without an edge. It’s very difficult to get your head around just how small a part of the universe we are, and on some level, claiming that we can shape the universe is a little bit like the grain of sand on the beach that believes it can control the tides.)

Also, trying to do good is not the same thing as doing good. Many, many people have tried to do good and in the process done harm.

Of course, and this is the miracle to me, none of this exempts us from trying to do good. We must still serve our fellow humans, and the idea of life itself, as best we can—we must still strive to create a world in which people can lead healthy and productive lives without destroying biodiversity on our little sphere.

I don’t find our relative insignificance disheartening at all: The main thing it tells me is that in a culture that worships celebrity and the purportedly extraordinary, ALL people are ordinary people. ALL people have the same responsibilities to themselves and to each other. Maybe the universe cares nothing for us, but WE care about each other. And most encouragingly, we care not just for our friends or family but for the whole enterprise of life—we care about strangers and about humpback whales and, most beautifully of all, we care about the dead. We try with our lives to honor theirs. That’s how we make our lives meaningful, and how we make their lives meaningful, too.”

What is my theory of change?

• Most change begins internally via an intentional ongoing self-awareness process
• Awareness is a great responsibility
• Small actions, can create BIG changes
• Altruism, random acts of kindness, and pay-it-forward initiatives can make the world a little brighter. Such acts can create a ripple effect of kindness. 
• If you have an abundance of resources and are aware that someone has less than you, sharing/giving those resources can benefit both the giver and the recipient. 
• My theory of change is a fluid, intentional, and dynamic process. Key components include...
• Ongoing critical reflection of self, society, and lived experiences
• Strategically plan action steps
• Take action (political, social, civic, etc.) individually or collectively
• Reflect on actions
• Innovate new strategies/actions to decrease world suck
• Make habits out of actions with positive impacts
• Share/teach others how to decrease world suck

What are my passions?

• Global issues including hunger, literacy, and economic inequality
• Access to quality and affordable educational opportunities
• Creative social entrepreneurship ventures and microfinancing
• Socially conscious and environmentally friendly consumerism
• Animal therapy

What are my goals?

I strive to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. I do have a few life goals:

• Seek truth.
• Live a healthy lifestyle with respect to living beings and nature.
• Be intentional in practicing anti-oppressive social work. 

Launching

While we are “launching” I wanted to be mindful of my worldview, theory of change, passions, and goals. As Aaron and I launch our respective careers and find a new home, there is much uncertainty and therefore stress and anxiety. Jobs, income, student loan debt, moving. Reflecting on life helps me re-center, so thanks for reading!